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Everything has been mystical the past few days. Yesterday I woke up early and because Celeste is away at Fish Lake, I had the apartment to myself. I lit candles and incense and rolled out my mat for a beautiful yoga practice. It�s all about spirit for me and when there is doubt about what in the world I�m doing with this yoga, I bring it back to spirit. I began. Sitting. Praying. Breathing. I gave my practice a purpose with my prayer to open up my heart and see my own beauty. To feel my own spirit and celebrate it with joy. I watched by body dance through the asanas in the dim reflection of the mirror. Buddha sat calmly, incense floating past his face, holding in his calm hands, the picture of my eye (Shiva) with Celeste�s image (Shakti) shining in the reflected lens of my sunglasses. The heart of Shiva is Shakti. The heart of Shakti, Shiva. It was us on the alter. These past few days, there has been the most dramatic clouds hanging in the sky to give it texture and making a play on light. Yesterday on my way to my early morning yoga class, I drove toward the mountain. The sun was still an hour or so away from shining but there shone a faint halo around the mountain peaks, articulated with grey, low-hanging clouds. The world was a deep hue of blue. The mountains had dark green patches, enormous shadows emerging from the night. The world coming awake beginning with these colossal rocks. It�s been a lot of work these past few days. I thought with Celeste gone that I would have the opportunity to fill up my between class schedule by effectively accomplishing all that needed to be done around the house (vacuum my car, prep and clean for our new fridge and stove, laundry, clean the joint, etc.). And when all is said and done, there hasn�t been much time left. I wonder if I �m working too hard. Perhaps its just the feeling of trying to catch up with everything. I like to come home to a nice place. It makes me feel like I�m calm and happy to be home. It allows me to relax and really enjoy home. Having said this, I did go to lunch with my dad yesterday. Charity came and joined us half way through. It was a good experience with my dad, nothing forced. He seemed happy and content. I was easy with conversation. I also treated myself to a pedicure, not so much from luxury as of sheer necessity. My feet were cracked and peeling and just gross. Last night after yoga. I went down to Quince St. to try to find Sam, Sara�s cat that we�ve been watching and who has run away. Sara used to live a few streets down, on Quince, and so I thought I might see him down there. It�s been four or five days since I�ve seen him. After, I came home and lit some candles to end the day with a meditation. As I lit the candles, I put in Kind of Blue. I sat and meditated on Miles Davis and John Coltrane playing Blue and Green, a plaintive, slow tune. After, I read the word and sipped my tea. Soon my eyes began to droop and I went off to bed. I was asleep quickly. Blue and Green [2005-08-18]
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