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i can almost remember the exact moment when i decided to hop this train to wholeness. when the effort to be productive, pretty, thin, strong, capable, interesting, poetic, artistic, stylish, intelligent, athletic, etc. etc. became empty and painful. when none of that mattered anymore. when all i wanted was to be happy. happy in my own skin. and what a ride we've been on since. trying to just stay on the train, nevermind the poise or elegance we once had hoped for. now we're just relearning how to cry because we're sad, and stomp and yell because we're mad, and laugh and shout 'cause we're happy, and nap because we're sleepy. and yet to nurture a piercing, angelic vision and hope. we're undoing every rule imposed on us since we were 3. the "shoulds" and the "should nots." we'd rather leave those phrases for the guilty, depressed adult, and live instead in spontaneity and freedom. even if that means living in and through some pain, fear, sadness, or discomfort. even if all we can do is hold our tea, waiting for it to cool. and by the time it's cooled, be ready again to sing Tori Amos songs loudly and freely into the evening air of the canyon, the sky full of stars and promise. - [2004-12-04]
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Last five letters Gathering [2009-09-04] ?2002, Scott & Celeste. |