|
|
Scratch that. It's 4 hours later, and I changed my mind. I don't want to be called Brilliant Star. I want my guru to see me as Green Rain. I cried some more tonight, feeling very alone, never having felt quite so alone. I've never lived alone, you see. It was always my GIANT family, then my companions, my family again, and then Leroy (and then some more family, of course). Shut up in this giant strange house, crying like a baby, I thought for a brief moment that someone would call. That I wasn't so alone after all. I needed someone so someone would come. In seconds I had decided that, so I planned to just keep sobbing until that person knew Phersty was in trouble. And so she did. Right then. On cue. My old friend who, too, is part-elf and part-fairy spoke kindly to me and stopped me in my tracks. From there I walked myself on the canyon trail, drenched in water and in green. I felt for a moment very blessed, recognizing my need for green, and looking up and swimming in it in all directions. The rain filled my eyes and swam down my cheeks, and I decided the earth cried with me. And I felt revived and healed. I let myself get swallowed up by the green--the most glorious of colors for me lately. And remembered then what I've always known: When I'm outside in wild spaces, my mind stops whirling. I don't care about anything. I don't need anyone. I don't care who I am or am not, or what I do or don't do. I just am. Just like the trees. No particular raging emotion, except maybe contentment. Content just being. The powerful energy of the trees always filters through to my heart, siphoning off any jabber my emotions or intellect have stuck me with. green rain, ck [2003-05-17]
Navigation newest letter | older letters
Last five letters Gathering [2009-09-04] ?2002, Scott & Celeste. |