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He reminds me of what I'd imagine sapanim (yogini)'s brother would be like. He is full of life but soft soft soft. Words couldn't explain to a chestful of scottmoore last night how still, quiet, and completely regenerated I felt. How I felt as though a layer of acid or waste had been skimmed off the top, and sweet flowing softness remained. How I felt as though I were back in the presence of those people I loved in Korea. How I felt that Moon Jinsoon had re-entered and become my heart... What sweetness! The sluggish energy that used to be vibrancy felt tapped and gently pushed through its dry, brittle walls. Old channels, old riverbeds long gone dry, were flushed and renewed, and life trickled in. Just the day before, Scott's heart had been heavy and angry. That's all he knew. That's all he had words for. He is running a marathon alongside me, and tiring. But he had mounted his bicyle to speed along this tree-lined street to teach class, restoring his hope and perspective and person with his music. And then after class, Scott had prayed and practiced. His quiet listening afterwards gave him his answer: We just need to continue what we have started, to remain committed to this extremely taxing path of rescuing my health and our life together. He would continue to shop and errand and work dozens of classes and make juices and try to do laundry and mow the lawn and try to pay all the bills, attend as many of my appointments as he could, and comfort my tired, fevered head and heart in the evenings. That is love. And that is courage. Last night I knew that his commitment, his absolute gift of his own life to help feed and heal my own and ours together, was soon to bear fruit. That he and I would find relief. That the mega-marathon would end, and we would pass the ribbon, side by side, clutching hands. Of course, the fruits have already been abundant and sweet--as our profound, ocean's deep love and commitment to each other, to god, and to our beautiful life together ring out for us as a reminder, like a clear, happy, wild bell, every day of our life. It might not have been so, otherwise. Suffering, effort, discipline, love, and Grace brought us here. And this morning, my thoughts, body, and breath are tongue-tied for any words but "thank you." Commitment and an Asian Heart, ck [2007-06-02]
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