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Exhale, and then just let the inhale fill you naturally. Empty yourself, and then just watch as you are automatically filled. Have you ever noticed that? The breath is GIVEN to us, like a gift. We're revived compulsively. Focusing on the image of letting it go rather than driving it in is best for me right now. Exhaling it all out--the tension, anxiety, fear, anger--and then pausing in that moment, empty and expectant. Riding out that second when the breath is gone, the pause before the promise's fulfillment. Trusting that I'll be filled again with new breath, new life. It's good for me to trust. It builds peace and courage. Just doing my best to let go and then watching and waiting as I'm refilled. Watching as paths are made clear where I thought there was none. Watching as pale light filters into dark places, showing a path in the bamboo. No trees to fell or concrete to pour. Just tree-filtered light to show the way. Yes, it's best this way for now. Otherwise I take monstrous breaths (read "efforts") on this planet, trying to stuff all the life back in me. Trying to force goodness into my limbs--rather than just calling to be filled. It's a much more passive place for me, which requires more patience and faith, and less force and control. It's the same trust that led Scott and me to cut ourselves loose, grab each other's hands, and board an airplane headed for Asia, trusting we'd find peace and joy and adventure there--trusting we'd practice yoga, meditation, wellness, beauty, and personal and marital growth there. Knowing that by risking we were healing. Knowing that as we sacrificed safety, we'd surely welcome freedom. And it's the same trust that will lead us to the Rocky Mountains again, unsure of everything, but skeptical of nothing. Except our fears. And it's the same trust that will lead Jinsoon to marry. And Sunny to depart for Toronto ("Why Toronto?" I asked. "Because they have a Korean Buddhist temple there," she responded. No other reasons.). And Moon Gyung to open up the Green World sanctuary/restaurant, just weeks before our arrival in Korea. And 'Lita to compile art and words and courage for months. And Durtsche to make for the city, where he might "do some good." And Jer and Amy to sift down their world to two backpacks headed for Manhatten. We all trust and fly. And then forget and fear. And then trust again and fly. Trust and Fly, ck [2048-02-19]
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