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You know it's bad when your students (often fairly oblivious of your presence, even when you're standing right in front of them, begging for their attention) come up after class and remark about your eyes. No, not the usual comments about the strange COLOR of my eyes (non-black, to be precise), but about the dark circles underneath. True, this is a particularly good class with older and more sensitive students, most of whom are girls with open crushes on Scott. They said they were sorry I've been sick, hoped I'd get better, and suggested Scott sub my class for the next while. I smiled. They call him the handsome one. Okay, okay. So maybe being here isn't the BEST thing for my health. I'm starting to see that health really isn't something foreign teachers are concerned about here. They come to party, I guess, in a new country. Or so it seems. If you're health-minded, you don't come to Korea on the brink of winter and start teaching at a hogwan (private schools for kids, "the trenches" experienced teachers call them). It's new, stressful, cold, crowded, polluted, dirty, with short nights and early mornings--not to mention foreign. I'm sure plain ole culture shock plays a bigger role than I give it credit for. But I must see the spring. I must see rows and rows of cherry blossoms on giant, ancient trees and watch my favorite magnolia trees here bloom. I want to taste the wake up and the warmth of this place. I want to take off my coat here. (We wear our coats everywhere, even--especially, I should say--in our classes, where they don't bother with heat.) Scott got fed up with my cotton ball coat, and we made a goose-down purchase last week, which has really helped. But scott has also become fed up with my eyes, too, he tells me. And in moments of honesty, he said he has given me one more month, and then if I don't look/feel better, he'll insist we plow (but not before visiting Thailand, of course). But I love it here. I love the new places. I love the traveling. I love spending time with Scott. I love exploring new ways and new foods and new sights. But I'll have to lay really low to pad the immune system, which is overburdened here. I have actually made a lot of progress with my classes, de-stressing them quite a bit. I used to go to classes and empty out all of my energy on each class (like steam out of teapot), using up everything during the first one, and then reaching into red for the next four. Now I've befriended quieter, more student-centered activities, including the beloved crossword puzzle, when all else fails. Plus, I don't let the students get to me. I don't lose my cool as often. And I don't have to. They don't go crazy because I'm not feeding them all my energy. There's less energy and less to discipline. We're making ok money here, but we're not concerned about that. We'd make as much at home, if not more, but here we don't pay rent. Besides, we don't really care. We mostly just love being away. Being together. Doing new stuff with lovely people. It's just a matter of keeping Skeletor in the closet. Skeletor, ck [2003-01-12]
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